so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
