I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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