Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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