Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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