I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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