i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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