I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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