Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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