That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
