he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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