So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
