Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
