I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
