This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
