The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
