oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
