Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
