i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
