Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
