Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize