i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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