I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
