How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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