Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
