Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
