On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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