I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
