On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
