i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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