Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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