Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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