Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
