He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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