is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
