well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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