you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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