I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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