ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
