I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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