He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
