Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
