everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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