Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
