Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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