I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
