ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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