I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize