I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
