Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i dont even know how to be here
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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