I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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