Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
