very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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