I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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