If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
