Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
