so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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