we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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