I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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