i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
