would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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