I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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