The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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