the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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