So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
operation have a gay friend backfired
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
