I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Where is the hickey?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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