babies were throwing up all over the place
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
