Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i think i just lost a toe
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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