Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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