finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
