my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
