Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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